Jackie Parry – author

Top tips for saying NO and controlling your mind

9 Comments

Do you constantly have new ideas? Can’t say ‘no’ to others or yourself?… read on…

‘No more ideas! Have you got it? It’s a simple word, say after me…. noooooo. Come on, try again…noooooo. Say it, SAY IT!’

This was my husband talking, I was just giggling.

I keep having ideas, they don’t stop. I have buckets of them. When Noel sees me suddenly look up with a sparkle in my eye and hears the words, ‘oh, I’ve just had a… ‘ he instantaneously sticks his fingers in his ears and hums rather loudly.

ID-100233546

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Right now I am:

  • Marketing two books
  • Writing my third book (and forth and okay, planning my fifth and a bit of the sixth, and…)
  • Setting up a training business
  • Learning French
  • Renovating a boat (currently living in a worksite and working with the rather noisy, smelly grinder ringing in my left ear)
  • Keeping on top of blogging!

So, how do we say ‘no’ to others and, perhaps even harder, ‘no’ to ourselves?

My best tip is to be honest and forthright, if you have no time, or don’t like the idea/proposal, just explain it. Even if it is as simple as, ‘I just don’t have the time, I am helping others with different projects and can’t take on any more.”

There are hundreds of tips, tricks, ideas and advice on doing this. Here’s some great links.

How To Say No to Anyone (even a good friend)

Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How To Learn To Say ‘No’

10 Guilt-Free Strategies to Saying No

But, I couldn’t find any advice on how to stop myself having ideas. Am I the only person with this problem? I can’t be.

So what to do? Well, I can’t stop, I have no control on them, they pop into my head without any introduction, so I have to ‘manage them.’

Here’s what I do to try and contain some sort of sanity and order in my head:

  • Write them down immediately – it maybe a goodie – don’t let it disappear
  • Don’t carry the idea in your head (a lot turn up (uninvited) in the middle of the night) – so keep a pen and paper with you at all times, so you can jot them down
  • Create a useable and simple filing system that you can refer back to – ideas maybe linked together
  • If the idea is stretching it – e.g. Build another boat next week, finishing it by Friday. Then ditch it immediately, delete it (I get Ted (who lives in my head) to erase it. (oh, erm, is that too much information?)
  • If it’s a similar idea or an expansion of another person’s idea, hand it over. An author friend is writing a help book – she probably has all the ideas she needs, but I have some of my own. I’ll pass them on, she can use them or ditch them, but they are gone from my busy little brain.
  • Tackle one at a time (says she who is doing several at the same time). But, tackle one properly, keep the main idea as your focus. The rest, just mull them over, perhaps manipulate them bit and give them a ‘tickle’ – then see what shape they morph into. The idea maybe perfectly ripe when you’ve finished your current ‘idea’.
  • If you have more than one idea running at once, get organised (see The 7 Highly Effective Habits of Me!)
  • If all else fails, write them on scraps of paper and stuff them into an envelope and when you’ve consumed half-a-bottle of wine, open them up and have a good giggle (or start the new idea….)
  • By zirconicusso,  Stock Image - image ID: 100257800 Smart brain, creative Idea concept, flat style.  (Free Digital Photos)

    By zirconicusso,
    Stock Image – image ID: 100257800
    Smart brain, creative Idea concept, flat style. (Free Digital Photos)

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Author: jackieandnoel

Author and Traveller

9 thoughts on “Top tips for saying NO and controlling your mind

  1. Soooo difficult! I can totally relate to this post!
    When I split up with my husband I had a policy of never turning down an invitation. As a result I ended up doing a whole lot of crazy things! It was awesome but a hard habit to break. I’ve now ended up with 5 part time jobs and volunteer on 3 different committees all because I can’t say NO!
    Must apply some of your tips to my life too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I say, “I have an idea…..” my husband says he cringes…………….. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. …but he says he goes along with it – and he does………….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha Ha – Carole, I can just see Barrie cringing! We’ll have to keep Noel and Barrie separate when we get together – I am sure they are going to share a lot of stories about their wives! Glad to know he gets on with them – after some training they soon learn eh? 😉

      Like

  4. I’m lucky. My OH is so into his own hobby (photography), he never thinks to stop me. Still, I have to stop myself now and then, and now is one of those times. I just have to get these studies finished and then I can fly again! Yay!! On my to do list are: finish the two books I’m writing, take lessons with a professional on my barge (need them), take some Dutch lessons (got to crack this grammar), carry on with my violin playing (love it), go to France on the barge (HAVE to), do a narrowboat holiday in England (holiday promise). Hmm, I’d better stop now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ohhh how exciting Val – I can’t wait to hear all about these project and how you go – and of course meet you in France! Noel encourages me and supports me in everything I do…… it’s just I have about ten ideas a day… so he tries to rescue me and not let me tie myself in knots – as he is the one that has to untie me! 🙂

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      • Noel sounds really, really wonderful, Jackie. I’m reading your book now and am half in love with him myself…haha. What a great rock and support he is – as well as full of fun and adventure! Still, you deserve it and even more, you deserve each other!! 🙂 It’s going to take me a bit of time to read because I am so busy, but I’m REALLY enjoying it. A terrific read!!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. He is Val – he’s one in a million and I am very lucky to have him! I love your comment – he’ll like it too! Thanks for the kind comments, do take your time, I know how busy you are – go do your work and get it over and done with…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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