We met a lot of males trying to convince their partner to go sailing. I started to address this in the FAQs – a lot of women had been scared on board – or been shouted at – this, of course, put them off.
I am interested to hear other people’s ideas/experiences . . . of course in the FAQ I have covered “What men want?” too . . . take a look and let me know what you think! . . . .
Pingback: What Women Want (how do I convince my wife to go sailing?) | Noel & Jackie's Journeys
January 31, 2014 at 8:55 am
3 years ago Graham said “Lets sell the house and buy a yacht!” My reply was “Ok”
He has spent his entire life sailing and my experience was a 10 day voyage on the Spirit of Adventure in NZ when I was 16. We didn’t sell the house, but we did buy a 30ft Lotus that needed a lot of work. Over the last 2 years we have learned to trust and help each other, what our limits are, what our roles on board are and how valuable team work is – he knew what to do, but not how to ask me to help and I would just through a tantrum because I was scared of not knowing what to do and felt useless. So what do women want? I want to be valued, I want to be heard, I want to learn without fear of an argument and I want to enjoy the life that we are creating on board our beloved Tintola. Did this come straight away? No! We always debrief and are not afraid to talk about each situation, whether positive or negative, even if the discussion does get a little heated at times. Some say patience is a virtue – I would say that when you go sailing, patience and communication is something that you must be prepared to learn.
For all men out there – be encouraging – The fastest way to make your partner hate something is to either scare her or berate her. If you want to take her sailing, go out in gentle conditions to begin with and build from there.
For all women – be prepared to learn, it may not be your domain – not yet anyway, but if you are prepared to accept instruction, advice & even critism at times, the rewards by far outweigh the initial rough seas!
And for both men and women, Communication is the key!
Yes, it really is that simple!
January 31, 2014 at 9:05 am
That’s fantastic advice Clare and I couldn’t agree more. We had a similar situation – Noel had been sailing all is his life, I had sailed one day on a friends boat. During some major decision making I had said “I just want to be free” – his reply: “the closest thing to freedom I know is sailing” – so we went and bought Mariah II! I was lucky as Noel was very patient with me and didn’t judge my ineptitude or shout at me – like you, we eventually became a great team. I shudder when I hear anyone on board getting yelled at . . . the thing is the person yelling is often in fear of something happening. . . (I think!) . . . (oh, now I bet that opens a can of worms!) . . . thanks for sharing Clare.
January 31, 2014 at 9:42 am
PS: After a couple of years of learning and preparing Tintola, we are now only 2 months from renting out the house and “being free” Because yes, the freedom, the people and the simplicity of life on board has become addictive.
We still have a lot to learn, but that is also part of the journey. I am sure that there will be some things we are over prepared for and other things that we haven’t even considered yet!
January 31, 2014 at 10:04 am
That’s great – can’t wait to hear about your travels – we all still have a lot to learn – it never stops. You’ve done the right thing, becoming a good team, means you can work through everything that is thrown at you – how exciting! Too Freedom! – fair winds.